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“So, who’s the lucky groom?” asked the sales representative.Miranda smoothly replied, “Mark.”Our hostess filled out another blank on the bridal registry as my heart raced and my mind whirled with the very many reasons why this felt so…..wrong.It was us four girls.Us four girls that come together every Friday to talk about another chapter in the book Captivating by John and Stacy Eldridge. And here we were, faking an upcoming double wedding just for the sake of our girly fun.The sales girl looked up from her paper to Miranda.“And what’s his last name?”Miranda looked away and mumbled, “Oh…how is it spelled?”Without thinking I laughingly said, “You’re getting married to a man who’s last name you don’t even know?”She gave me a sharp look and said, “Steinser. That’s it.I always get the I and the E turned around.”We were to have a double wedding in June of next year with 4 bridesmaids, two of whom were standing right behind us, 4 groomsmen, 2 flower girls, and 2 ring barriers.Well, that went smooth enough.Although, I still wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of having an appointment for a dress fitting for a fake wedding. However, the others reassured me that we were just getting ideas for when we really do decide to get hitched.Ok. That was reason enough.The same girl who registered us was also the one that helped me into my dresses.And if I wasn’t nervous before, she really gave me a reason to sweat.She kept asking me questions about how long I had been engaged, how he had proposed, how we met, ect….ect.Of course, I gave a few key words and got emotional in the right places.I think I sold it.But I’m not sure. A woman can definitely tell when another woman is in love and is about to get married to the man of her dreams.But to really sell it off, I told the seat belt story, all the while emphasizing the irony of it all. It was in the second dress that time stopped for me.I came out of the dressing room to parade the loveliest dress in the store to my friends. Oh how they gasped and smiled!I stepped up to the platform in the semi-circle mirror, and there, I saw a bride.I saw a captivating woman.I started to cry a little and my emotions were bubbling up inside me as the hostess fixed my veil.“So…Is this the one?”Her words echoed to me as if from the end of a tunnel.It seemed real then and there, escaping from a girl playing princess to actually wearing the tiara.Wow.So this is what it’s like to be captivating.I woke up from my day dream of a groom smiling down the aisle at me and beaming bridesmaids to say, “Maybe. This could be the one.I’ll have to look around a little more to make sure.”And so, with pictures taken for documentation of this glorious moment, I stepped down from the platform and dressed back into my normal attire.As we were leaving the rooms, Lauren made a comment at how different we looked; going from our wedding dresses straight back into our usual clothes.Yes….I guess a princess would look odd to everyone else if she had just stepped out of the castle in jeans instead of her usual ball gown.
We did have some fun….go check out the pics!!!!:D ~Rach
Captivating. It's a book by John and Stasi Eldridge. Perhaps you've read it? Well, it was about 4 weeks ago when I met Hayley Higgins and Miranda Kemp at the Jerusalem Project event, (similar to the MLK project at Bryan every year). Somewhere in our conversation until 3 in the morning, they mentioned this book and consequently their group reading through it. I was invited to come, but I now understand just what kind of journey I have willed myself to take. At the same time, God has been showing me little by little that I have to start denying myself more and more. He's refining me by preparing for my future. But he's also whispering to me that I have to let go. Although I would rather him just take it away, he wants me to give it to him. As I was reading through this book two nights ago, Stasi (the co-author) was talking about how we wired as women and what that says about God. One of the things that spoke out most to me is the longing to be pursued. To be needed. To be wanted. Of course, that latter two things are a human desire. But God wants to be pursued! At the same time, he wants us to GIVE ourselves; body,soul, and mind to him. Sure, we've all heard that before. But what about those times when the rubber meets the road? What about the pain or the people in your present that still haunt you about the past? What if you can't just run? Well, we pray, 'God! Take this away from me!' But all the while he's just waiting on you to give it up to him. Then, there are those times when we aren't in a season of just giving to Him. Picture this. A guy comes all decked out in his suit; flowers in hand. He's wearing the best cologne he owns and just had his hair cut. He knocks on the front door. The door opens and there she is. His girl. She's caught off guard and grandly shows how appreciative and surprised she is. She blushes at seeing him and with a radiant smile, accepts his flowers. And then, he takes her hand, kisses it, and walks away. She stands at the door holding her flowers and thinking, "Where's he going?" He gets into his car and drives away, leaving her there in confusion on the front door. You see it? That's how we treat God sometimes. Sometimes it's not about giving anything to him. He wants to be pursued! In seasons of our lives, He purposefully 'draws away' from us. We wonder what happened and if we must start giving more of ourselves. No. Not all all. It's an invitation. It's a test. He wants you to PURSUE Him. Has he left you? Not at all. He still hears you when you call, and he'll answer you. "Seek him with all your heart...." Well...what's it like to be pursued? Picture this. A man comes to a house late at night. He walks around to the side of the house and looks up to the lit room on the second story. He picks up some small stones and throws them up at the window. The window opens. And there is his girl. Ashley. He had something in mind to say to her, like a poem, but instead, he discarded all of his plans and let his heart speak. He really didn't care by now if he looked like a fool. It wasn't like he planned to speak the language of love to her. He couldn't help it. She was just so....so...easy to love. He really couldn't help it. But more than that, he knew her. And the more he knew her, the more he just loved who she was. Even now, she still surprises him. Now, here he his, a husband into his 25th year of marriage, outside of his wife's window. Pursuing her.
Well, folks, I would say more, but my Psych homework is calling me, so, I must bid adieu and goodnight!
My pastor at CityGate at Dyersburg has been showing this video at the end of our church services and has been preaching on being a dangerous church. It's been really hitting home with me lately and I just want to share with you this video. It's not long. It won't take up much of your time, and you have nothing to lose. So go ahead. Even if you're not usually a fan of links that take you to a video somewhere on the internet, trust me, you're not going to regret it. Be blessed and refresh your vision.
I wrote a song yesterday called, Slow Motion. It's in 3/4 time and I would really like some feedback.
Slow Motion
V1: The rhythym of this song it has taken over me Mem'ries take us back where we wanna be And your eyes still send shivers down my spine And your touch stays with me all the time
Ch: It's like moving in slow motion Falling backwards with you my mind, it's wheeling my heart, it's reeling undeniable feeling I don't wanna stop now
V2: In circles and circles it seems like we go You take the lead And I follow And your smile says I'm so glad you're mine And your arms say You are always always on my mind (back to Ch)
Bridge: Don't say those words If you don't mean a thing Don't take my song If it's not truth that I sing We're gonna fall together And I'm counting on forever (back to Ch)
It would be nice to tell you that I am just as happy as a clam here and that life is easy, but unfortunately, that is not the case. However, I have a lot of joy in being here because I know that God wants me in this place at this time, so I'm rolling with it. It's hard to be away from the family that I've been blessed with while I was at Bryan, and being here stirs up a lot of mixed emotions. However, God is placing some awesome people in my life, at the same time, challenging me to hang on to Him alone as my source of joy. At the same time, God is bringing me up in different ways, but none of it is easy. Of course I'm reminded that the best things in life come as a result or after the storm of the difficult is over. And with that, I'm hoping and praying that through this, God will preserve me, my sanity, my heart, and my joy. Know that I'm thinking of you all my dear friends, and smiling at how much God has blessed me just by having ya'll in my life!
I am currently a student at Dyersburg State Community College and planning to go to UTM in the fall. I am majoring in Music Ed. But in the blink of an eye all the plans made could change. I'm just trusting God with it all and he will lead me elsewhere if it is his will. Anyway, typing about myself seems sort of formal and dry..... The best way to get to know someone is be their friend and give it some effort I say. If you want to know more, just talk to me sometime. No one can have too many friends! ^_^
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